Web Site for the Official Student Newspaper of Normandale Community College in Bloomington, Minnesota Diet Kimo KimoKuppe Some of you may recall last month when I wrote that the solution to all of our political problems should be solved by shooting everyone in charge. After I reread that I was a bit shocked. What I meant to say was that the pain they inflicted on the American people, nay, the world, should be paid back to them in stultifying doses. Their screams should echo in the winds and create vortexes of endless pain that will forever float over Washington. Then something dawned on me, I’m a very negative person! This is becoming a problem because I find myself considering violence as a solution a lot more often that I used to and it’s just not possible for me to dish out the pain at a satisfactory level. That, and it really isn’t mentally healthy for someone to think in such a way. Oh but the years of public school and the lifetime of cynicism have certainly embedded themselves deep within my persona, I just think that a change would be for the better. I should note that as I write this I am battling a cold, which makes thinking positive difficult. Actually, fudge it. I’m going to stop right here and give you all some sound advice. The labels on cold medicine are put there for a reason, and by neglecting one, I suffered 12 hours of the most horrific nightmares I’ve ever had, as well as spending the rest of the day in a delusion about what was going on. It was like a drug trip, only there wasn’t any high part and it went straight to the coming down part. As a result, I turned in this column anyway and lo and behold I went too far with one of my jokes. You, the masses, will never see it and that’s probably for the better. All you need to know, is that certain human acts are deemed horrible by some and humorous by others. Like last month when the paper mockingly stated that our beloved president was involved in unusual sexual acts. While the idea of anyone being subjected to unpleasant things is awful, an isolated incident to a certain individual can be funny. I, however, study bizarre Japanese sexual cultures and have a completely different take on the matter. Think of it as the bastard child of disgust and laughter. I often forget that not all of you share this trait and my statements in the original column could be misconstrued to form wrong opinions about me. No doubt the people who would do this would also object to seeing the Sept. 11 footage put to silly clown music. Their loss. Anyway, I’ll try to wrap this up like an episode of the Brady Bunch with a lesson. Comedy can help with positive thinking. The ability to see humor in the world is an invaluable ability, one that not many people have. That doesn’t mean there are no limits to what you can say, just remember that not everyone shares the same views on things. This is a lesson I often forget, and for that I am sorry. This wasn’t a very funny article, I didn’t expect to get sick and I certainly didn’t expect the wrong medicine. Also, I’ll try not to bring up rape in any more articles. I’m positive of that.