Back to school easier when classmates are my children

By True Grimes

“Are you a teacher or are you a student?” is about the nicest compliment strangers have given often at this community college. The first time that question presented itself, I laughed hard because maybe that explained why students were staring when I walked into a new class on the first day of the semester. Yes, they thought I was the instructor, why had I not thought of that before.

“No, I am not a teacher. But I wish I was a teacher at NCC. I have returned to school for retraining and updating of life-long skills needed before fully supporting me one day.” I was grateful fellow students were satisfied with that answer and did not pry further, because I was really the one needing to be convinced that these goals were attainable.

However, the gawking does catch me second-guessing myself and looking downward immediately to check if all the buttons buttoned; favorite jeans zipped; and the two shoes match or at least the same color. Students ogle on other days as well. I cannot blame them, especially after one long demanding day ended. I was brushing my teeth for bedtime when discovering that only one dangle earring was worn the entire day, and not even on my best ear.

Now that was probably the most embarrassing day of my academic career thus far, until the next day when “they” were gazing again.

“Hey, it looks like the thief that stole your right earring changed his mind and didn’t go back for the left carrot-colored cheap dangle because it was even uglier than the first one,” is precisely what a good friend would have said instead of letting me humiliate myself in public.

“Hey, there’s green stuff between your two top big teeth,” is the preferential treatment I would hope for from honest on-lookers.

“Man, you are a mess. It looks like you slept in those clothes last night to make that 8 a.m. CHEM1061 class on time,” is much easier to digest than gaping spectators about to fall out of their chairs when giving me the intent look.

However, upon my return to school a year ago, the best times were when passing my youngest daughter in the hallways. She always waved, never acted embarrassed, and told fellow classmates standing close by, “Hey, that’s my mom. She’s going to NCC, too.” What a great kid. I did not even mind when she took me to two classes for “show and tell” and probably made A’s as a result.

As I came in to NCC, Holland was on her way out, as a graduate about to complete the Associate of Science degree in the Registered Nursing program. Moreover, as an academic professional knowing her way around campus, Hollie took great pride in divulging words of wisdom.

“Mom, you will have to give up some of your perfectionism.”

“Honey, I am not a perfectionist. Look at me and look around this house, neither is perfect. If I am one, then I’m a frustrated perfectionist.”

“Mom, all perfectionists are frustrated. I’m just saying that to make it in school, you will not have time to do everything perfect.”

Later it was revealed that my 20-year-old girl was looking out for my best interests as well. Before the semester began, Holland told Karen Moe, one of her former nursing instructors, to be nice to me since I had enrolled in Karen’s NURS 1057 course. This was not a good thing.

“Please don’t tell any more teachers that I am your mother. I know you are only looking out for me, but instructors will expect me to be a good student as you are and disappointed when finding out that I am not as smart. There’s no way that I could ever live up to what you have accomplished in school.”

However, when it was time for Holland to graduate, I was not ready for her to leave NCC.

“Honey, do you really have to graduate? Don’t you think our going to college at the same time has been fun, a mother-daughter bonding event?”

“Yes, mom, but it’s been weird, too.”

“You have been very encouraging and I feel safer knowing that you are close by, though we never got to eat lunch in the cafeteria together. Can’t you just keep going to school here and take other classes?”

Apparently I desperately needed to get a grip, as this accelerated reversal of roles and my new dependency was grossly premature and alarmingly.

“No way, Mom, I have been a full time college student for four years. Now it is time for me to find a job as a registered nurse and earn some money. I have a student loan to pay off and I am ready for a break from school. You will be fine without me, you will see.”

Holland Katlin Grimes did graduate on Friday, May 18, 2007 from NCC, found a nice job at Abbott Northwestern Hospital and is now paying off a student loan. She was right, I have been hanging in there.